253 Quotes by Norm Macdonald

I like to do talk show appearances where I get to just be myself, and I do stand-up where I can completely be myself. That's what I've always loved the most, of anything.

Note to self... Sex with blow-up doll is not as good as advertised.

Never raise expectations in others that you cannot realize: promise is less pleasing than disappointment is vexatious.

My dad died, and my grandfather died, and my great-grandfather died. And the guy before him, I don't know. Probably died.

Liberty, like health, appears most precious when lost.

When I started in Canada, I just did stand-up.

Pulp Fiction is a, uh, gritty, urban satire. Pump Friction is a uh-uh, a bunch of uh, dudes and ladies having dirty sex.

Laws, however divine in origin and institution, would be found of little coercion among men, were the administration of them not committed to mortals.

He that searches for praise will often find contempt.