253 Quotes by Norm Macdonald

It's a very odd thing with Hollywood, where you do stand-up, you're good at it, then they go, "How would you like to be a horrible actor?" Then you say, "All right, that sounds good. I'll do that."

I've shown people Richard Pryor who've never seen him, and most of them don't like him.

My dad had this thing - everyone in Canada wants to play hockey; that's all they want to do. So when I was a kid, whenever we skated my dad would not let us on the ice without hockey sticks, because of this insane fear we would become figure skaters!

There's no such thing, of course, as an old-fashioned gay guy. They're the most decadent people.

I'd say Jon Stewart has remained funny the entire time. Jon always makes it funny first. And he's just, he's talking about serious things, but in a funny way. Other comedians will talk about serious things in a serious way, and then you don't know what's going on.

It is easier to hate those we love, than love those whom we have hated.

In terms of merit, sports has mathematical statistics. That's how you know who the best player is.

[sam] Kinison, when he started out, he'd come to Canada when I was first starting, and he'd always [bomb].

Education makes some men wiser, others more ridiculous and foolish!