911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

Neither conservatives nor humorists believe man is good. But left-wingers do.

Imagine a weight-loss program at the end of which, instead of better health, good looks, and hot romantic prospects, you die. Somalia had become just this kind of spa.

When Adam Smith was being incomprehensible, he didn't have the luxury of brief, snappy technical terms as a shorthand for incoherence.

The Communist bloc of old was a study in the failure of failure. Losers in the Soviet economy were the people at the end of the long lines for consumer goods. Worse losers were the people who had spent hours getting to the head of the line, only to be told that the goods were unavailable.

Now, do I think the baby boomers tend to be self-absorbed? I do.

I like to have interesting things to write about. And when one says something is 'interesting,' one almost always means 'bad.'

No industry in living memory has collapsed faster than daily print journalism.

I look around my house, and everything except the kids and dogs was made in China. And I'm not sure about the kids. They have brown eyes and small noses.

There's one more terrifying fact about old people: I'm going to be one soon.