911 Quotes by P. J. O'Rourke

At Epcot Center the Disney corporation has focused its attention on two things greatly in need of Disneyfication: the tedious future and the annoying whole wide world.

No humorist is under any obligation to provide answers and probably if you were to delve into the literary history of humour it's probably all about not providing answers because the humorist essentially says: this is the way things are.

Explosion of positive rights started in 1932 with the election of Roosevelt.

If you think health care is expensive now, wait until you see what it costs when it's free.

Coffee and cigarettes are much better if you want an instant breakfast.

The great apologist has to have lived large and wild. If he's going to kiss the world's boo-boos and make up, he'd better plant some bruises first. A master apologizer has to be a Lord Byron, a Rick in Casablanca, a Lee Atwater, anyway.

The real truth about children is they don't speak the language very well. They're physically uncoordinated. And they are ignorant of our elaborate ideas about right and wrong.

I do have to travel a lot for speaking engagements.

I was never a Democrat. I went from Republican to Maoist and then back again.