236 Quotes by P.G. Wodehouse

I couldn't have made a better shot, if I had been one of those detectives who see a chap walking along the street and deduce that he is a retired manufacturer of poppet valves named Robinson with rheumatism in one arm, living at Clapham.

Bicky rocked, like a jelly in a high wind.

If you don't want me to attend the patient I'll go.''But she can't see a doctor now.''Why not?''She isn't well.

Excuse me, I must go and putt

Morning, Bill,' said Lord Tidmouth agreeably.'Go to hell!' said Bill.'Right-ho,' said his lordship.

He was always in a sort of fever because he was dropping behind schedule with his daily acts of kindness. However hard he tried, he'd fall behind; and then you would find him prowling about the house, setting such a clip to try and catch up with himself that Easeby was rapidly becoming a perfect hell for man and beast.

The ideal adventurer needs... the quality of not being content to mind his own affairs...

Has anybody ever seen a drama critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

Boyhood, like measles, is one of those complaints which a man should catch young and have done with, for when it comes in middle life it is apt to be serious.