93 Quotes by Pat Paulsen

We've got to step up our conservation efforts before it's too late. We're not protecting our lands and natural resources. Take the Grand Canyon for example; I'm sure that at one time it was a beautiful piece of land, and just look at the way we've let it go.

Having a comic in the White House will assure stability in foreign relations. The world will continue to respond to foreign initiatives by saying, 'You must be joking.'

It's tough campaigning, kissing hands and shaking babies.

I'd learned some things. I knew you weren't supposed to hold a good wine at the top - the paper bag falls off.

The No. 1 cause of forest fires is trees.

I read an article that said one in five Americans thinks Elvis is alive. I want to find those morons and get them registered to vote for me.

I once told Tommy Smothers, 'If I could just get the money and the women straightened out, the rest of my life would be easy.'

I want to caucus in Iowa. I'll caucus all over the state. I don't caucus in California. You don't caucus where you live. It doesn't look good.

I think we should just tip the government if it does a good job. Fifteen percent is the standard tip, isn't it?