200 Quotes by Patton Oswalt

If you actually do cold readings, it’s very close to how people actually talk, because you’re experiencing these thoughts anew every moment, and trying to make them come out coherently.

Is it bad when you refer to all alcohol as “Pain Go Bye-Bye Juice”?

If you play comedic scenes like they’re really serious, then it’s so much more funny than if you’re going for a laugh.

Even if it’s other people, like on MySpace pages, we’re just as collective of enthusiasts now. That seems to be the world we’re in.

I have a very tiny house in Burbank. I drive an 8-year-old car. I’m gonna drive it into the ground. I enjoy what I enjoy.

I never said that movies were struggling behind TV. I’m just saying that movies have a better creative cache.

Lot of ugly funny dudes end up with some pretty gorgeous women. Women are much deeper than us in choosing a mate – they see in the long term.

Knock on wood, my groupies tend to be very artistic, creative people – sometimes way more creative than I am.

People will find transformation and transcendence in a McDonald’s hash brown if it’s all they’ve got.