200 Quotes by Patton Oswalt

Meal isn’t over when I’m full. Meal’s over when I hate myself.

Every audience is different, even within the same venue. You have to just make every audience your audience; you can’t pre-judge an audience based on the size of the room or the type of room.

Movies, to him and the majority of the planet, are an enhancement to a life. The way a glass of wine complements a dinner. I’m the other way around. I’m the kind of person who eats a few bites of food so that my stomach can handle the full bottle of wine I’m about to drink.

Stand-up is something I just truly love to do, so I’ll always go back to it. I’ll never stop doing it, that’s for sure.

What you want to worship above youth, I think, is beauty, and beauty is so beyond just appearances after a while. Because you can be with someone who’s good-looking; if they open their mouths and they’re an idiot, then they cease to be beautiful very quickly.

I’ve been very lucky in my life in terms of people who are able to tolerate me.

Zombies can’t believe the energy we waste on nonfood pursuits.

Anything’s better than Gen X which is what we got. Thanks Douglas Coupland. We sound like a team of mutant vigalantees with frosted hair and chain wallets. Actually that’s not completely horrible.

I don’t want to get into extended conversations with people on MySpace, because there are friends I have extended conversations with every day.