200 Quotes by Patton Oswalt

But for the most part, for the majority of a stand-up audience, you better have new stuff they’ve not heard. And if you put an album out, just consider that material gone. At least that’s how I see it.

You saw a lot of guys, especially in the early ’90s, whose acts were a pitch for a sitcom. A lot of them were very funny, but there’s nothing worse than watching comedians or musicians who are up there and are doing something they’re not interested in.

I’ve hung out in the writer’s room a few times, but the fact is we’ve got such a good writing staff, I don’t want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.

I’m so beyond genre, drama, comedies, I just want to do really good, interesting projects.

A lot of nerds aren’t aware they’re nerds. A geek has thrown his hands up to the universe and gone, ‘I speak Klingon – who am I fooling? You win! I’m just gonna openly like what I like.’ Geeks tend to be a little happier with themselves.

It wasn’t until I went to college and met different people from different areas of life – and then went to San Francisco and met people who really knew who the hell they were – that I kind of caught up in a hurry.

I’m grateful that I had that uphill battle for 10 years of going onstage and having nobody know who I was, because you have to win them over.

When you put an album out, you can’t do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.

The truly great actors, like Charlize Theron, are just like, “I’m an actor. For hire. I show up, I do my job.” There’s no “I’m just waiting for the inspiration.” They just do their jobs. They say, “Let’s go over the scene a few times and get it.”