200 Quotes by Patton Oswalt

In my mind, I was always a comedian who was going to branch into writing.

As much as I know people love the method and what you can draw out of yourself, a lot of acting is very imaginative.

I like to write, I like to do stand-up, I like to act.

When you put an album out, you can't do any material from the album if people are paying to see you.

I haven't sworn off Facebook. I'm on Facebook. There's a fan page on Facebook that I will update, but I'm on there myself under a pseudonym, because there were a lot of people able to private-message me on Facebook, and it was getting really weird. And then with MySpace, I just don't read messages. I delete everything, and I just post updates every now and then.

I've hung out in the writer's room a few times, but the fact is we've got such a good writing staff, I don't want to get my peanut butter fingerprints on anything.

Now we live in this DVD, iTunes, Hulu age, and show creators and networks are realizing that and letting shows develop on those terms rather than 'We gotta just punch it week to week, man.' Now they're like, 'What will happen if someone watches the entire show?'

I mean, the death in the late eighties and early nineties really shook out a lot of hacks. The pond just sort of dried up for a lot of really bad comedians.

I have to drink this much to be as unfunny as you.