58 Quotes by Paul O'Grady

I don't like awards ceremonies. I'd sooner go to the pub with mates I've known for years.

Every week I have a disaster in my kitchen. The fire alarm goes off repeatedly. But it doesn't stop me being adventurous.

I went to work for the Civil Service. I'd wanted to work for the Ministry of Defence because I had some far-fetched idea that it had something to do with the Avengers, but I ended up in Social Security.

I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we'd hum the Popeye tune and then I'd happily eat it.

I enjoyed school - although I ran away on the first day. I'd reminded the teacher that it was nearly time for 'Watch With Mother' on TV.

I think it's bad for fellas when they lose their mothers. Mine was such a character. Oh it was sad, really sad. And, with her gone, the family home was gone, so what was left of any roots I had were completely dug up.

I'd rather do community service than sit and write a load of Christmas cards.

I make a wonderful cure-all called Four Thieves, just like my mum did. It's cider vinegar, 36 cloves of garlic and four herbs, representing four looters of plague victims' homes in 1665 who had their sentences reduced from burning at the stake to hanging for explaining the recipe that kept them from catching the plague.

If I wanted your opinion, I'd slap it outta ya.