58 Quotes by Paul O'Grady

I like a Blackpool breakfast, me – 20 ciggies and a pot of tea.

I was a really picky eater as a child. Because I was obsessed by Popeye, my mum and aunts would put my food in a can to represent spinach and we’d hum the Popeye tune and then I’d happily eat it.

I don’t want to sound like Catherine Cookson but I’ve worked since I was eight, with a paper round and in a fruit and veg shop. Taking a pay cut won’t demotivate me, not at all. It’s not about money in the first place. It’s about the job.

Noel Coward said work is more fun than fun, but then he didn’t work in the Bird’s Eye factory packing frozen fish fingers nine hours a day, did he?

The worst drivers are women in people carriers, men in white vans and anyone in a baseball cap. That’s just about everyone.

My primary school teacher once poured a bottle of curdled school milk forcefully down my throat. Then I threw it up all over her suede shoes. I’d rather have drunk from the spittoon in Barney’s barber shop.

It’s become normal for me to walk on set as Popeye, Frankenstein or an Elf or even a chicken.

Every week I have a disaster in my kitchen. The fire alarm goes off repeatedly. But it doesn’t stop me being adventurous.

If I wanted your opinion, I’d slap it outta ya.