138 Quotes by Paula Poundstone

I was born in Alabama, but I only lived there for a month before I'd done everything there was to do.

I love key lime pie, although it's never made the proper way.

I mean, I do love clever and witty, but I think that the 'Three Stooges' were geniuses. They'd have to be for their appeal to have lasted this long.

I only do two things in my life, and that's take care of my kids and work. Fortunately, these are my favorite things to do, so it works out.

I'm thankful for Sarah Palin's vice presidential bid, which taught us that Alaska is not in a box off the coast of California.

I have a horrible memory and I used to consider that a liability, but I've learned along the way that talking to people is really a beautiful thing.

I love talking to the audience, and I must be the luckiest performer in the world. I always land something or somebody that just takes off.

When I sat down to write I just felt like a geek writing about myself. And then it dawned on me, just because of the way I am, I can't stop talking, and part of the problem is that anything that gets said reminds me of something that happened to me one time, and invariably I cut people off and talk about myself.

I also like a great Caesar salad with anchovies, although I don't know why some places say 'with anchovies.' If you're making a proper Caesar salad, it's going to have anchovies.