59 Quotes by Rachel Bloom

The number one thing I am earnestly attracted to is intelligence. Writers are thus the pinnacle of intelligence. While actors are great and awesome, writers literally create new worlds from scratch. What is sexier than that? Personally, I don’t know why every person out there isn’t dating a writer.

I was bullied a lot in middle school, and my bullies have since all apologized.

Being good at fashion and beauty and girly stuff has been such a point of insecurity for me; I’m not good at coming up with jokes that make fun of other people for that, because I don’t feel like I have a mastery of it myself.

As a young girl, if you do something funny – especially if you’re Jewish – someone says, ‘Oh, have you seen Gilda Radner?’

If I could create my own utopia, it would be this genderless world where we didn’t have to talk about it.

Sometimes I write music, sometimes I don’t. I think I’m just writing more what’s close to my heart, and musical stuff is close to my heart, and it’s fun to write, and when something’s fun to write you don’t think about what statement you’re trying to make or what genre you’re trying to hone in on.

I’ll tell you anything about myself. I will show you my bare butthole.

One of the ways that my show has been most successful is when it’s dealing with women’s issues, like Spanx and plucking and having heavy tits. That’s why it feels like, creatively, an advantage.

Women are very funny. Some of the funniest people I can think of are women.