17 Quotes by Rachel Reiland

Deeply vulnerable and hurting within as you act tough outside. You do need people; you need them so much so that it scares you to death. You drive them away so they don’t get too close; yet you regret it every time you do.

I was getting better at controlling my emotional reactions. When feelings overwhelmed me, I learned to thwart the burning temptation to act self-destructively and to sit with the feelings instead.

Death scared me because I feared nothingness. If I had been nothing before I was born, then I could imagine that I would be nothing once I died.

If the borderline rage that had fueled me for so long was torn down and taken away, would there be anything left? Or would it take the life, the spirit, right out of me? I was daunted by the prospect of letting go without a clear idea of what would emerge in the old framework’s place.

The only way to see the light at the end of the tunnel was to crawl through the mud in darkness.

One of the reasons teenagers rebel is to test the limits to make sure they are still there. But for you it was particularly difficult. And something you never really got over.

A few of the researchers seem to think that once a borderline, always a borderline. That you can’t cure it – you can only control it. That a lot of people are destined to live their lives in and out of institutions, that there isn’t much hope.

If my mind began to wander again, I found a way to distract it. Stay busy. Get drunk. Get laid. Anything to escape the chamber of torture that was my mind.

The thing I knew I needed to let go of most was anger. I would have to take on faith that something else would come in its place.