103 Quotes by Ralphie May

I know I wanted to be a comic when I was nine. I was thirteen the first time I did it. I was attending a Methodist Church youth retreat at the University of Southern Alabama. They held a talent show on the last night. I won, and then I made out with a 14-year-old girl from Prattville, Alabama.

I've been called a race traitor, prejudiced about white people. It's ridiculous... I have a really, really diverse crowd. Most comedy clubs appeal to white audiences. I have a very mixed crowd. I have a lot of visibility in the black audience.

I'm a fan of old vaudeville theaters.

I'd like to be a U.S. senator from Tennessee.

My audience has accepted me for a long time as, you know, not a fat comedian but a comedian who happens to be fat. That's a huge difference.

I do like two hours of new material every year.

I'm a dirty, filthy animal and I'm a dirty comedian, but I got a lot of charisma and charm.

I never wanted to be known as a fat comic, just a comic who happens to be fat.

In my entire life I've spent maybe three weeks with my dad under the same roof.