132 Quotes by Red Buttons

Ben Hur, who said to his sister Ben Him, We’d better swap names before they start calling me Ben Gay! Never got a dinner!

Stan Musial, who said, Why didn’t they make me the first Polish pope? I was such a good Cardinal. Never got a dinner!

King Henry VIII, who said to his lawyer, Forget the alimony, I’ve got a better idea. Never got a dinner!

Goliath’s mother, who said to Goliath, Stop running around with David! You’re always coming home stoned! Never got a dinner!

Joe Torre, who switched to first base because he didn’t want to go through life as Chicken Catcher Torre. Never got a dinner!

William Tell’s son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, There’s gotta be an easier way to kill worms. Never got a dinner!

Michelangelo’s girlfriend, who said to Angelo, Forget the paint – let’s put a mirror on the ceiling. Never got a dinner!

Adam, who said to our Lord in the Garden of Eden, I got more ribs – you got more broads? Never got a dinner!

Noah’s wife, who said to him after 40 days and 40 nights, It’s your turn to spread the papers on the floor! Never got a dinner!