132 Quotes by Red Buttons

William Tell's son, Telly, who said as his father was pointing the bow and arrow at the apple on his head, There's gotta be an easier way to kill worms. Never got a dinner!

Alexander Graham Bell's wife, who said to Alex on their wedding night, Your three minutes are up. Never got a dinner!

Where else but in America can a poor black man like Michael Jackson grow up to be a rich white woman?

Julius Caesar's wife, who said to Julius, We are not naming our son Sid! Never got a dinner!

Making you a pioneer only means one thing. You were around at the time.

The captain of the Titanic, who said to room service, Who sent for all this ice? Never got a dinner!

Jack the Ripper's mother, who said to Jack, How come I never see you with the same girl twice? Never got a dinner!

Ray Charles, who said to Stevie Wonder, Maybe we're white. Never got a dinner!

Christopher Columbus, who said to Queen Isabella, No, you got it wrong! The world is round. You're flat! Never got a dinner!