132 Quotes by Red Buttons

Lee Iacocca, who said to Dolly Parton, Why do you need an airbag? Never got a dinner!

Bluebeard, who said to Scottland Yard, How do I know how many wives I've killed? I'm not an accountant! Never got a dinner!

Dr. Spock, who said, Never raise your hands to your kids. It leaves your groin unprotected. Never got a dinner!

Pope John Paul II's press secretary, who said, See, if only the Pope were Italian, he woulda shot back! Never got a dinner!

Joseph Cotten, who said, You know how I got my name? Sammy Davis picked it for me. Never got a dinner!

Ninety isn't old. You're old when your doctor doesn't X-ray you any more - he just holds you up to the light!

Nostradamus, who predicted that Billy Bailey would not come home. Never got a dinner!

Helen of Troy, a hooker from Upstate New York. Never got a dinner!

The Hunchback of Notre-Dame, who said to his tailor Irving, Forget the slacks - please work on the blazer! Never got a dinner!