339 Quotes by Rita Rudner

I love being married. It’s so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

Before I met my husband, I’d never fallen in love. I’d stepped in it a few times.

Blondes have more fun, don’t they? They must. How many brunettes do you see walking down the street with blond roots?

I don’t look back. I’m like a shark – I only look forward.

Marriages don’t last. When I meet a guy, the first question I ask myself is: is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

Individuality in dressing is not important to men. If they all look alike it means they haven’t made a mistake.

Men don’t live well by themselves. They don’t even live like people. They live like bears with furniture.

When you’re a dancer, you start with the basics. You don’t all of a sudden do a grand jete and pirouette. You start with first position, second, third.

Yes, I’ve now got this nice little apartment in New York, one of those L-shaped ones. Unfortunately, it’s a lower case l.