339 Quotes by Rita Rudner

Men who have a pierced ear are better prepared for marriage-they've experienced pain and bought jewelry

Men like to barbecue. Men like to cook only if danger is involved.

If you never want to see a man again, just tell him 'I love you. I want to marry you. I want to have children.' They leave skid marks.

Men hate to lose. I beat my husband once at tennis. I asked him, 'Will we ever make love again?' He said, 'Yes...but not with each other.'

Whenever I date a guy, I think, is this the man I want my children to spend their weekends with?

Other dogs look at French Poodles and wonder if they are members of some strange religious cult.