339 Quotes by Rita Rudner

In high school I was voted the girl most likely to become a nun. That may not be impressive to you, but it was quite an accomplishment at the Hebrew Academy.

Men don't get cellulite. God might just be a man.

To attract men, I wear a perfume called 'New Car Interior.'

Men who drink herbal teas are seldom serial killers.

It's so great to find that one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life.

I jogged for three miles once. It was the worst three hours of my life.

The word 'aerobics' came about when the gym instructors got together and said: If we're going to charge $10 an hour, we can't call it Jumping up and down.

My parents were glad to see that my new husband looks like a 'regular guy'-no earring or anything. But really I think a man with an earring is better prepared for marriage. I mean, he's already experienced pain and bought jewelry.

I found out I had a real love for comedy and comedy writing. The logic was, there weren't too many female comedians, so I thought I might as well try a field that had fewer competitors than the field I was in, which was acting, singing and dancing.