81 Quotes by Rob Corddry

Why should I be feeling tension? It’s The Daily Show.

I didn’t hang any pictures in my office for a year because I thought that I would be jinxing myself and have to take them down the next day.

My job was basically to look at a good friend completely naked and rub lotion on her back. I was naked too, but I got to put a towel on almost immediately. So I was like, “Well, this is going to be embarrassing, but it’s also going to be kinda awesome.”

I’ve always wanted to be an actor. I didn’t get into this game to be the best improviser in the world. I didn’t choose improv as a stepping stone, it just happened to become one.

Sometimes we have to actually say, I think you’re really funny, but none of your jokes are going to make it on the air. So just answer my questions. Seriously.

It looks like garbage, my ass. But trust me, you’re lucky it’s not full-frontal.

If it’s January, I’m dead in three hours. But in June, I’d be hungry, but I’d make it out. I’d find my way without a map or compass. I say that with confidence. I can build a fire without a match.

Apparently it’s cool to watch The Daily Show.

I have a wife and two daughters; people who depend on me. Everything is more important than it was when I was 20. But now I’m like, “Eh, I made it this far.”