198 Quotes by Robert Benchley

Go jogging? And get hit by a meteor?

Next to a shot of some good, habit-forming narcotic, there is nothing like travelling alone as a ’builder-upper.

Even nowadays a man can’t step up and kill a woman without feeling just a bit unchivalrous.

The most common of all antagonisms arises from a man’s taking a seat beside you on the train, a seat to which he is completely entitled.

Drinking makes such fools of people, and people are such fools to begin with, that it's compounding a felony.

Death ends a life, not a relationship.

It took me fifteen years to discover I had no talent for writing, but I couldn't give it up because by then I was too famous.

Anyone can do any amount of work, provided it isn't the work he's supposed to be doing at that moment.

India! What mysteries does the very mention of its name not bring to mind?