218 Quotes by Robert Orben

To err is human – and to blame it on a computer is even more so.

Never raise your hand to your children – it leaves your midsection unprotected.

If at first you don’t succeed-try, try again. Don’t think of it as failure. Think of it as timed-release success.

We have enough people who tell it like it is – now we could use a few who tell it like it can be.

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that “individuality” is the key to success.

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that’s not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

I understand the big food companies are developing a tearless onion. I think they can do it – after all, they’ve already given us tasteless bread.

There’s so much pollution in the air now that if it weren’t for our lungs there’d be no place to put it all.

The Playboy Calendar this year has some tiptop models. Any more top and they’d tip.