218 Quotes by Robert Orben

Remember the days when you let your child have some chocolate if he finished his cereal? Now, chocolate is one of the cereals.

If you think education is expensive, try ignorance.

Do you ever get the feeling that the only reason we have elections is to find out if the polls were right?

A graduation ceremony is an event where the commencement speaker tells thousands of students dressed in identical caps and gowns that "individuality" is the key to success.

Illegal aliens have always been a problem in the United States. Ask any Indian.

Most people want to be delivered from temptation but would like it to keep in touch.

Time flies. It’s up to you to be the navigator.

Never raise your hand to your children - it leaves your midsection unprotected

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some smaller countries are neutral.