218 Quotes by Robert Orben

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

The Playboy calendar this year has some tip-top models. Any more top and they'd tip.