50 Quotes by Ryan Stiles

I'm going to buy some green bananas because by the time I get home they'll be ripe.

I wasn't particularly funny in high school, but I grew up with three older brothers who were quite funny.

That is raw dough. Never eat raw dough. They can make worms in your tummy. Worms in your tummy.

If I were but a man who would be tall, I would be me.

I can't sprinkle sprinkles on. I lose control when I have sprinkles. I'm shaky. I still remember the great sprinkle accident of 1982.

If I were as much of a man as my woman, I'd be my wife.

The first rule to living in America is 'Stop tap dancing, you fool!'.

Drew's a funny guy. Because anything he gets into, he gets in 100%. Even when we were doing 'The Drew Carey Show,' he got into bowling, and suddenly he's phoning up pros for tips and carrying around 3 balls. It's just how he does it.

If I were like your mother, I would be a woman.