59 Quotes by S. J. Perelman

To err is human, to forgive supine.

You'll have to leave my meals on a tray outside the door because I'll be working pretty late on the secret of making myself invisible, which may take me almost until eleven o'clock.

If, at the close of business each evening, I myself can understand what I've written, I feel the day hasn't been totally wasted.

Santa Barbara people are conservative-not like in L.A., where everybody wears rhinestones on their glasses to show that they own an airplane factory.

A basic ingredient in the manufacture of perfume, the attar-a heavy, pale-yellow oil stored in small metal drums-had been put up as collateral by Bulgaria, in lieu of gold, at the Moscow Narodny Bank, a Communist finance house for East-West trade.

I don't know where we're going or how we'll get there, but when we get there we'll be there - and that's something, even if it's nothing.

If travel has taught me nothing more, and it certainly has, it's this: you never know when some trifling incident, utterly without significance, may pitchfork you into adventure or, by the same token, may not.

I cannot recall a more engaging passage in fiction, and I've been trying for almost eighteen seconds.

We old roosters must be cautious. Don't try to outwit your arteries.