91 Quotes by Sam Kinison

With any other celebrity, people come up and say, 'Hey, I really like your work.' But with my fans, when they see me, they don't even say hello. They just go, 'AWWWWWGHGHHHGHGHRRR!'

Jesus is still up in Heaven, thumbing through his Bible, going 'Where did I say build a water slide?'

Rage only works if it is justified. That's the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

My view of life is, 'If you're going to miss Heaven, why miss it by two inches? Miss it!

What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny - but when I do it, it's not?

In the 1990s, it's OK to do comedy about the Chernobyl disaster or the Space Shuttle blowing up. It's acceptable to ridicule the Pope or the President of the United States, but God forbid you do a joke... about gays. The gay community is the last sacred cow in this society.

When has stand-up comedy been kind to anyone? It goes after anyone who's the target. Comedy attacks, man.

I guess my main influences are Jesus, rock n roll and ex-wives. In that order.

If I get married again, I want a guy there with a drum to do rimshots during the vows.