91 Quotes by Sam Kinison

Rock Against Drugs, what a name. Somebody was high when they came up with that title. It’s like Christians Against Christ. Rock created drugs.

Real comedy doesn’t just make people laugh and think, but makes them laugh and change.

Rage only works if it is justified. That’s the trick with rage. You gotta have a reason to be mad.

You don’t know what a rough crowd is. If all I have to do is go make people laugh, that’s nothing. Let me tell you what a tough crowd is. A tough crowd is going to a morning service and you got six people there and you gotta pat your house payment. That’s a tough crowd.

What am I responsible for? Who am I responsible to? Everybody? How come when Archie Bunker nailed everybody, it was funny – but when I do it, it’s not?

Jim Bakker. He’s lost everything, he’s ruined. And the worst thing of all he still has to wake up to her!

I got divorced, which was not a good thing for a revivalist minister. It did not go down well. I’d already been banned from a couple churches for my jokes. So one day I woke up and decided it was time to start living for myself.

Jesus had a tough life. I read about that guy. Jesus is the only guy that ever came back from the dead that didn’t scare the F- out of everybody!

John Goodman isn’t fat. He’s in a category beyond fat. What does one call it? Whalelike.