104 Quotes by Sam Levenson

The whole world is watching America, and America is watching TV.

Democracy means doing whatever you want without asking permission of anybody but your boss, your doctor, your lawyer, your landlord, your bank, your city, your state and federal authorities, and your wife and children.

A woman's place is in the home. Why should she go out and take away a workingman's pay instead of staying home and stealing out of his jacket like a good wife.

There was an old Woman who lived in a shoe She had so many children Her government subsidy check came to $4,892.

The longest word in the world is "a word from our sponsor."

The high IQ has become the American equivalent of the Legion of Honor, positive proof of a child's intellectual aristocracy.... It has become more important to be a smart kid than a good kid or even a healthy kid.

Never lend money to a friend. It's dangerous. It could damage his memory.

At the U.N., any nation that fights back is censored as an "aggressor."

It would be useless to bomb Washington. If you destroy one building, they already have two other buildings completely staffed with people doing exactly the same thing.