8 Quotes by Samantha Hart

Leaving my father behind—with all of his baggage—was like giving up an old teddy bear. You know it’s just an object, incapable of comforting you with its tattered fur and missing button eye, but it’s something you cling to, even though you know it can’t give anything back.

You’re a magician or some kind of weird, witchy woman. I don’t know how you do it. You never lose,” he said one night, exasperated after I pummeled him game after game. “You’re like Wonder Woman or some backgammon superhero. Hey, I’ve got it—you’re Backgammon Girl.

The old jukebox was playing one of Wild Bill’s favorites, Nat King Cole’s, “Smile”—so I knew I was in the right place. I paused a moment to listen to the words, blinking back tears. Intuitively, I knew Wild Bill wouldn’t want to see Sam crying, so I headed to the phone affixed to the wall, pretending to be chatting up an old friend. My fingers traced graffiti on the walls, phone numbers, and hearts with initials engraved inside. Gathering my emotions, I waited for the song to end.

I realized I had become wild and undomesticated, living a gypsy life—coming and going from Bernie’s. But even the thought about settling down in a cozy home with a dog and a cat, not to mention a person, would cause me to panic, pick up and run away. It’s not that I would want to leave. I would have to. The very idea of being settled, I found unsettling. I believed I didn’t deserve these things. I felt secure and comfortable getting what I needed on the fly—no commitments.

You’re a magician or some kind of weird, witchy woman. I don’t know how you do it. You never lose,” he said one night, exasperated after I pummeled him game after game. “You’re like Wonder Woman or some backgammon superhero. Hey, I’ve got it – you’re Backgammon Girl.

I realized I had become wild and undomesticated, living a gypsy life – coming and going from Bernie’s. But even the thought about settling down in a cozy home with a dog and a cat, not to mention a person, would cause me to panic, pick up and run away. It’s not that I would want to leave. I would have to. The very idea of being settled, I found unsettling. I believed I didn’t deserve these things. I felt secure and comfortable getting what I needed on the fly – no commitments.

The old jukebox was playing one of Wild Bill’s favorites, Nat King Cole’s, “Smile” – so I knew I was in the right place. I paused a moment to listen to the words, blinking back tears. Intuitively, I knew Wild Bill wouldn’t want to see Sam crying, so I headed to the phone affixed to the wall, pretending to be chatting up an old friend. My fingers traced graffiti on the walls, phone numbers, and hearts with initials engraved inside. Gathering my emotions, I waited for the song to end.

Leaving my father behind – with all of his baggage – was like giving up an old teddy bear. You know it’s just an object, incapable of comforting you with its tattered fur and missing button eye, but it’s something you cling to, even though you know it can’t give anything back.