44 Quotes by Sara Ney

If you already know the answer, why are you trying to make me say it?""Because I'm a girl, an that's what we do.

You put those goddamn pants back on this instant,” I thunder, taking a step forward.

Her blue eyes meet mine. “What’s the first physical feature you look for insomeone you’re attracted to?”Dimples. Tits. Long, dark hair. “Height.”“Really?” She’s taken aback, and it’s obvious from her wide eyes that shedoesn’t believe me. “Huh. That surprises me.”“Why?”“I don’t know, I thought you’d say big boobs or something.”Pfft, like I’d admit that shit out loud.

First lesson in dealing with a guy: they don’t see anything in gray—it’s usually either black or white, so best get to the point. Guys don’t think like you do, so make it simple.

I shrug. "Because I only hang out with you? And other women. Come on - what guy wants to approach a gaggle of girlfriends out in public?"We're an intimidating bunch when we're at a bar for drinks: loud, obnoxious, and out for a good time - not to pick up men. Well, they're not. I occasionally am, but I'm the only one who's single (and ready to mingle), despite the bloat in my stomach and the oozing goop coming from the corner of my mouth.

I just want someone who will randomly bring me tacos and squeeze my junk. That’s it. Why can’t there be an app for that?

I’m not afraid of anything but squirrels, and not a single soul knows about that except me. Little beady-eyed bastards.

I saunter closer, approaching her cautiously, much like you’d approach a stray dog, or a girl you know is on her period – warily, guardedly.

Sor – ” Violet bites down on her bottom lip, a nervous giggle unintentionally escaping her lips. “Shoot, I-I almost did it again, didn’t I?” Then. She smiles. My eyes, goddamn them, go to those curved glossy lips and rest there as she tries not to grin at me. Brilliant white teeth wink. Big, virginal doe eyes crinkle at the corners. She’s like a fairytale caricature. Like a pixie. So endearing it almost makes me want to barf.