93 Quotes by Sarah Millican

If an audience is watching you and you're a bloke - it's the same as if you're a woman. They're expecting the same: to be entertained.

I'm not good in all emergencies. The frustration of an unopenable jar of jam can tip me over the edge, but at least I could use it adequately to cave in the heads of the undead.

My sister saved me from drowning. I shouted at her because she pulled me out of the pool and hurt my arm.

There's so much to see and do in Austrailia, but a lot of it is outside so I've ben immersing myself in their telly.

I might look like somebody who lives next door but I've a dark, twisted sense of humour.

A lot of people think that being skinny is the happy ending, and it's not. Being happy is the happy ending.

At school I was the mousey one in the corner that nobody really liked.

If I write a joke and it works, and it works consistently, that is gold to me.

I never got up on stage and thought, 'I'll wear a flowery top so I can talk about dark evil things,' but it just so happens that that's the way I dress.