93 Quotes by Sarah Millican

Try as I might, I cannot fall asleep before 2am. I sometimes try, putting tea towels over the clocks and forcing myselt to go to bed at 12.30am. I never win.

A place I've been a fair few times is the Lake District. It has the edge on Paris in that it's ace. It's the sort of place I show off to my Aussie mates like I made it or own it or something. I love that I know where to park, where there's a choice of 30 ice cream flavours, where you can fall asleep on the grass while your friends go for a walk.

Pretty much every comic that you see live is going to be slighter ruder, slightly darker and slightly more scary. But there are restrictions when you're on the telly. I'm not trying to rude it up for live. I just have to restrict myself on the telly.

It's not enough for something to be popular; it has to be good.

It's probably a generalisation to say this, but occasionally I'll see a bloke who laughs only after he's checked his girlfriend did. I tend to imagine that's a rocky relationship, to be fair.

When you look out at somewhere like Hammersmith Apollo and all those people have come just to see you on that night, it's overwhelming. You can't rest on your laurels. This tour's got to be better than the last one because I want people to come to the next one.

Because I started doing stand-up relatively late - 29 - someone can shout something at me but it's not going to be as bad as some of the things I've experienced. I've lived a bit.

Everything feels different on Christmas morning because there's nobody about. And if they are, then they're on a new bike.

I'd hate to live where people knew my history. I love familiarity on holiday but not at home, as I'm sure my neighbours would testify - if I'd ever met them.