564 Quotes by Scott Adams

I'm not convinced that there is actual gluten in the fries.

The human mind is a delusion generator, not a window to trurh.

I knew from the get-go I was going to help out, regardless of what he needed, even if he needed surgical intervention, I knew I was going to help him out,

The best any human can do is to pick a delusion that helps him get through the day. This is why people of different religions can generally live in peace. At some level, we all suspect that other people don't believe their own religion any more than we believe ours.

If you spend all your time arguing with people who are nuts, you'll be exhausted and the nuts will still be nuts.

The most ineffective workers are systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage: management.

If you read it for a while, you feel like you know the guy behind it, and that makes it funnier for me. The characters are unbelievably well-defined. I've often made the case that if you can't describe the character in one or two words, then it's not going to work. And he does that.

Men live in a fantasy world. I know this because I am one, and I actually receive my mail there

As a rule, I don't like to laugh at the misfortune of others. The exception to that rule is if it's really, really funny.