74 Quotes by Shane Dawson

I'm going to H*ll.

Selling bracelets to old ladies isn't as cute when you are a teenager with constant accidental boners.

Now this isn’t meant to make anyone feel like college is a waste of time, because for so many people it’s not. But don’t go because you feel like you have to. If your heart isn’t in it, then why spend four years of your life stuck somewhere you don’t want to be?

All those years I had thought my first choice would be Sour Patch Kids but then I realized God had a different plan for me. Peanut butter and chocolate. Praise the Lord.

I know the old saying “Nothing tastes as good as being thin feels.” Well, nothing tastes as good as being alive either.

And to this day we are still kissing each other with the same amount of passion. It’s been more than three years, and I still feel like there’s more to unwrap. Every day I get a glimpse of what’s inside. I hope it never ends.

Isn’t that weird how you never see a fat kid eat? We always do it in private, as if we are fooling anyone. How sad. As.

It’s a twisted land of self-hatred, sadness, and lots of repressed anger toward every person who’s ever hurt me.

And nowadays, I keep my promises.