149 Quotes by Spike Milligan

Actually, I was glad when we left, I couldn’t have kept up this non-stop soldier-all-day – lover-all-night with only cups of tea in between.

Listen, someone’s screaming in agony- fortunately I speak it fluently.

If I don’t eat soon, I’ll die of hunger; and if I die, I won’t eat soon.

This silent call you make, A silence so loud I fear the world knows it’s meaning If you fill every corner of a room Where can I look? If I close my eyes the silence becomes louder! There is no escape from you The only way out is in.

Is there anything worn under the kilt? No, it’s all in perfect working order.

I’m a hero with coward’s legs.

I thought I’d begin by reading a poem by Shakespeare, but then I thought, why should I? He never reads any of mine.

After Puckoon I swore I’d never write another book. This is it.

A bird in The Strand is worth two in Shepherds Bush.