149 Quotes by Spike Milligan

After Puckoon I swore I'd never write another book. This is it

On the Ning Nang NongWhere the Cows go Bong!And the Monkeys all say Boo!Theres a Nang Nong NingWhere the trees go Ping!And the tea pots Jibber Jabber JooOn the Nong Ning NangAll the Mice go Clang!And you just cant catch em when they do!So its Ning Nang Nong!Cows go Bong!Nong Nang Ning!Trees go Ping!Nong Ning Nang!The mice go Clang!What a noisy place to belong,Is the Ning Nang Ning Nang Nong!

The clock in the church tower said 4.32, as it had done for three hundred years. It was right once a day and that was better than no clock at all.

R.I.P.Tom Conlon O'Rourke.Not Dead, just Sleeping.

With a roof over his head he had ceased to work, living off his [war] pension and his wits, both hopelessly inadequate.

Money can't buy you happiness but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.

Money can't buy you friends, but you do get a better class of enemy.

Author? Author? Did you write these legs?''Yes."'Well, I don't like dem. I don't like 'em at all at all. I could ha' writted better legs meself.

Life wasn't too bad. The trouble with Man was, even while he was having a good time, he didn't appreciate it. Why, thought Milligan, this very moment might be the happiest in me life. The very thought of it made him miserable.