767 Quotes by Stephen Colbert

Making a better tomorrow, tomorrow.

After nearly 15 minutes of soul searching, I have heard the call. Nation, I will seek the office of the president of the United States. I am doing it!

It's much better to invite the audience to be part of your show rather than saying, "I command you to do this." The other thing is, you have to follow through. If you initiate a game and they take part, you can't stop until it reaches a mutually satisfying resolution.

I believed in global warming after Al Gore's movie made money; the market had spoken.

I don't like books, they're all fact, no heart.

I don't like the new president who hunts muslim extremists, I like the old president who is a muslim extremist.

If I'm doing a talk show or an interview, or pretty much anything where I can't control the context, I'm loath to do the character.

There's nothing wrong with stretching the truth. We stretch taffy, and that just makes it more delicious.

I love being onstage. I love the relationship with the audience. I love the letting go, the sense of discovery, the improvising.