846 Quotes by Steven Wright
- Author Steven Wright
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I watched the Indy 500, and I was thinking that if they left earlier theywouldn't have to go so fast.
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- Author Steven Wright
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Once I tried to kill myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
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- Author Steven Wright
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What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
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- Author Steven Wright
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I tried to hang myself with a bungee cord. I kept almost dying.
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I was in the supermarket the other day, and I met a lady in the aisle where they keep the generic brands. Her name was 'woman.
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To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism; to steal from many is research.
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It's a small world, but I wouldn't want to paint it.
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I was sad because I had no shoes, until I met a man who had no feet. So I said, "Got any shoes you’re not using?
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Sorry... my mind was wandering... one time it went all the way to Venus and ordered a meal I couldn’t pay for.
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