11 Quotes by Stewart Lee Beck

Does anyone know a guy named Rich who turned out poor?

I bought a book on willpower, but I only got halfway through.

Once upon a time, there was a Jew who loved a Muslim who loved a Christian who loved an atheist, and they all lived happily ever after.

In terms of China's history, language, and culture, I find the more I dig, the deeper the hole gets.

My partner and I were going to renew our vowels, but the consonants revolted.

As a reformed procrastinator, I'm now getting things done in the first 10 seconds of the last minute.

I can't seem to recall if I've ever had amnesia before.

Is it a lucky break if you get run over by an ambulance?

Once upon a time, a human belittled another human who spoke broken English, until the first human discovered English was the second human's third or fourth language, and then the first human felt rather stupid and decided to shut the f*** up.