17 Quotes by Stuart MacBride

När höjdarna ger dig en lort, putsar du upp den och säger "Men Gud, så fin!" Det för att de blir imponerade av ens intellekt, perceptionsförmåga och kapacitet. Om du inte gör det står du bara där med en lort i handen.

Ina stood and shuffled over to the urn on the fireplace. Stroked it with a twisted finger. "How are we supposed to get more consecrated soil, now? Taxi drivers always look at you so strangely when you get in with a shovel and say, 'Take me to the nearest graveyard.

What about Ding-Dong?""Detective Inspector Bell couldn't find his arse with both hands if you duct-taped them to it. Come on.

Guthrie handed him the mug, a wee pout pulling his pale face out of shape. With his semi-skimmed skin, faint ginger hair, and blond eyebrows he looked like a ghost that had been at the pies. "Milk, two sugars.

Logan glanced at the clock on the cooker: nearly five minutes fast. The room was bathed in the pale orange glow of the overcast sky, the back garden a jungle of silhouettes and shadows through the window. He filled the kettle, then poured half of it out, before sticking it on to boil. The growing rumble drowned out the babble on his Airwave handset as DI Bell got his firearms team into place.

The day was dark as a lawyer’s soul.

The trouble with Scotland is a bunch of numpties saw Braveheart and now they think if we could only sod about the hills in kilts all day, flashing our arses at the English, somehow everything will be all right.

Honestly, some days it’s like trying to get an angry ginger tom into a pair of Lycra cycling shorts.

But in a fit of inspiration he’d fashioned a balaclava from a Tesco carrier bag – the handles tied beneath his chin.