12 Quotes by Tehmina Durrani

To me, my husband was my son’s murderer. He was also my daughter’s molester. A parasite nibbling on the Holy Book, he was Lucifer, holding me by the throat and driving me to sin every night. He was Bhai’s destroyer, Amma Sain’s tormentor, Ma’s humbler and the people’s exploiter. He was the rapist of orphans and the fiend that fed on the weak. But over and above all this, he was known to be the man closest to Allah, the one who could reach Him and save us.

My mind became a sanctuary for secret thoughts of escaping from this household.

I found an inner strength to fight for myself. It was clear that nobody else would.

Looking back, I realized that we were being raised to be schizophrenic; an appearance of perfection was more important than genuine feelings

There will be a great imbalance in our strengths if we fight, because I am prepared to die and you are desperate to live.

The lesson was clear and I learned it well: blind acquiescence was necessary to gain approval; being yourself only earned condemnation.

...my mind was consumed with the idea of purdah. From behind it no call for help could be heard. An abandoned species was trapped in a forbidden world. Everything corrupt happened under the shroud, when it was off a faceless and nameless woman appeared.

I obeyed, but my crime was that I did not look obedient.

Love's absence ailed me. I could not imagine loving my husband. He was a superior and I did not know how to love and be subservient together. Nor had he ever thought of me as a human being, let alone a woman. For no reason had he ever softened towards me, I had stirred him that little.