3,122 Quotes by Terry Pratchett

Of course, to be fair, that was a parent's job. The world was so full of sharp bends that if they didn't put a few twists in you, you wouldn't stand a chance of fitting in.

You Say To People 'Throw Off Your Chains' And They Make New Chains For Themselves?

The world does not deal well with those who don’t pick a side.”“I like the middle,” said Vimes.“That gives you two enemies. I’m amazed that you can afford so many, on a sergeant’s pay.

He hated weapons, and not just because they'd so often been aimed at him. You got into more trouble if you had a weapon. People shot you instantly if they thought you were going to shoot them.

Don't stick your nose where someone can pull it off and eat it.

Everything starts somewhere, though many physicists disagree. But people have always been dimly aware of the problem with the start of things. They wonder how the snowplough driver gets to work, or how the makers of dictionaries look up the spelling of words.

There are very few starts. Oh, some things seem to be beginnings. The curtain goes up, the first pawn moves, the first shot is fired - but that's not the start. The play, the game, the war is just a little window on a ribbon of events that may extend back thousands of years. The point is, there's always something before. It's always a case of Now Read On.

Nanny Ogg looked under her bed in case there was a man there. Well, you never knew your luck.

He’d always felt he had a right to exist as a wizard in the same way that you couldn’t do proper maths without the number 0, which wasn’t a number at all but, if it went away, would leave a lot of larger numbers looking bloody stupid.