550 Quotes by Tina Fey

That night's show was watched by ten million people, so I guess that director at The Second City who said the audience "didn't want to see a sketch with two women" can go shit in his hat.

By Real Acting I mean “an imitation of human behavior that is both emotionally natural and mechanically precise enough as to elicit tears or laughter from humans.

It was a major and deeply embarrassing teenage revelation. It must be how straight teenage boys feel when they realize those boobs they like have heads attached to them.

There are different types of fancy photographers. Some are big, fun personalities like Mario Testino, who once told me, “Lift your chin, darling, you are not eighteen.” I enjoyed his honesty. Also, I’m pretty sure he says that to models who are nineteen.

In improv there are no mistakes, only beautiful happy accidents. And many of the world’s greatest discoveries have been by accident.

Lots of teenage girls have taken comfort under the wings of half-closeted gay boys.

What Turning Forty Means to MeI need to take my pants off as soon as I get home. I didn't used to have to do that. But now I do.

A wise friend once told me, 'Don't wear what fashion designers tell you to wear. Wear what _they_ wear.' His point being that most designers, no matter what they throw onto the runway, favor simple, flattering pieces for themselves.

Pilot scripts are particularly difficult to write because you have to introduce all the characters without it feeling like a series of introductions.