183 Quotes by Tom Lehrer

Be careful not to do your good deeds when there's no one watching you.

Counting in octal is just like counting in decimal, if you don't use your .

I find that if you take the various popular song forms to their logical extremes, you can arrive at almost anything from the ridiculous to the obscene-or, as they say in New York, sophisticated.

If, after hearing my songs, just one human being is inspired to say something nasty to a friend, or perhaps to strike a loved one, it will all have been worth the while.

Always predict the worst, and you'll be hailed as a prophet.

Apart from that Mrs Lincoln, how did you enjoy the play?

I find that people can pass me on the street who've just seen my picture in the paper and they wouldn't recognize me. If they'd seen me on television, the heads turn. They say, "Wait a minute. I don't know who that is, but he's somebody.

There's something mathematically satisfying about music: notes fit together and harmony and all that. And mathematics has to do with abstractions and making connections.

I don't have the temperament of a performer, and I certainly couldn't do it every night.