330 Quotes by W. C. Fields

All my available funds are completely tied up in cash.

The movie people would have nothing to do with me until they heard me speak in a Broadway play, then they all wanted to sign me for the silent movies.

I'm searching for loopholes.

Trust everybody, but cut the cards yourself.

In every big city there is always one surefire laugh, and that lies in hanging some piece of idiocy upon the people of a nearby city or town.

Indeed, moderation is my middle name (though I do not often use it in signing legal documents)

Hollywood is the gold cap on a tooth that should have been pulled out years ago.

I have a poor memory for names; but I seldom remember a face.

It's a wonderful thing, the D.T.'s. You can travel the world in a couple of hours. You see some mighty funny and curious things that come in assorted colors.