330 Quotes by W. C. Fields

Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there’s nothing exactly like it.

Take me down to the bar! We’ll drink breakfast together!

Ultimately chess is just chess – not the best thing in the world and not the worst thing in the world, but there is nothing quite like it.

I like children – fried.

I used to be indecisive, now I’m not so sure.

Marriage is better than leprosy only because it’s easier to get rid of.

On the whole, I’d rather be in Philidelphia.

Where there is a will, there’s prosperity around the corner.

If there’s a will, prosperity can’t be far behind.